He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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