I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
