Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
