i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
