Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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