it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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