She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
