Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize