I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
