The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Is her dick bigger than yours?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
