Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
