fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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