So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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