Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
How's work?
Spinning.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
