thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
