Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
