At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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