Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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