I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
