did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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