Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
