she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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