I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
