I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
