My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
