It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize