U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
