I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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