Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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