Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
