Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Come see our sink grown plant.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
