is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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