funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.â€
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