9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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