do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize