i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
