if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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