i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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