I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Terrible idea I love it
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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