Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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