You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
