i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize