K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
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