Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
