Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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