Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
