whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
