I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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