i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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