quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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