Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
3 2 1 whiskey
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
