He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize