Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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