it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
No more Irish car bombs ever.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize