He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
