drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
