You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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