so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
