ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
