Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
