im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
